confession of a loser girl

 i rather stopped counting how many breakdowns i had over the last 2 months, first i thought i was just on the edge from my upcoming periods. then i broke down in the middle of my cycle and i knew i was just miserable all around. first semester in uni and depression will do this to you. multiple exams coming up and i know nothing😿!!!!!!!!! wrote my paper 2 days before deadline, and almost lost my soul over it. failed my latin test. feeling lost in the history of middle ages. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

depression continuing, my teenage years are slowly coming to end, didnt accomplish anything, all my friends are ahead of me by miles. everyone is living fun lives and have the time and energy to study on top of it. im the complete opposite, but for the most part, i have no one other to blame than myself. i hope 2026 will be kinder to me and others, and i promise that i will work on myself!!!!! no more doomscrolling, doomeverything. 

other new years resolutions:

• piercing or tattoo, (i miss my vertical labret </3, but it was such a hassle)
• find a job
• read more
• find hobbies
• socialize more
• get over him

anyways. happy late holidays to everyone and happy new year! <3

things to do to feel alive and other words without meaning

i havent felt alive and myself in a long time, so i cut my hair and started a blog. do i feel alive now? i dont think so, but atleast i spiced up my boring life.

other things to do to feel alive:

• go to parties, pub quizes etc... socialize!!!!!
• spice up your make up
• dont scroll too often, dont further your brainrot 
• develop hobbies.... hard. 
• learn a language
• boundaries, speak up. also hard
• be weird

last one is cringe but improtant, i lost my cool weirdness and i have to find it again. need to be esoteric, fitting in doesnt work for me, i will never fit in i will always be weird to other people no matter how hard i try to appeal to other people. dont be just a horse, be a unicorn ^_^